Surviving the holidays

The holidays are here once again. The challenges with family dynamics that you have put on hold are back and you are faced with decisions regarding how you want to show up in your family. Do you go to your in-laws or your parents for the holidays? Do you want to spend time around your creepy uncle? How do you set boundaries with your grandmother asking you when the kids will be here again when you’ve chosen to be child-free? All of these dynamics and opportunities for boundary setting can cause one thing…stress.

As we enter into November and December in the American culture we are bombarded with marketing, expectations and traditions surrounding family. We are reminded of the role that we play and the pressures we experience to fill that role within our families. Often times, the role that is set for us is not the one we desire to fill or aim to be. Yet, as the holidays come back around we find ourselves falling back into that same pattern….make the turkey, create the greeting cards, buy the presents, don’t forget about insert name here’s birthday, don’t look too happy, make sure you smile in the family picture, and DO NOT forget the reason for the season. Are you overwhelmed yet?

There is an invitation to offer if you desire to accept. Well, there are two invitations. The first, that you can say no, and you can set boundaries in order to live a life in the holiday season that does fit who you are and who you desire to become. The second, it’s okay to take time to slow down and breathe. It’s okay to not do everything this holiday season and it’s okay to miss out on one thing if you need to take care of one of your most important relationships - your relationship to yourself.

Maybe you have fears of what could happen within your dynamics and your family relationships if you set these boundaries. That is a normal reaction and valid. To counter this, what if you lived your whole life worried about other’s reactions? Would you ever get to live your truly human experience? Would you look back at yourself 10 years from now and be proud of who you are?

Here is the invitation; you can choose to thrive instead of survive this holiday season.