Mother wounding

What is mother wounding? It is a wound that occurs to a child who becomes an adult. The wound is caused by mom not meeting your physical, emotional or relational needs. This experience causes the adult daughter to struggle to identify her own needs which causes dysfunction in relationships, low self-esteem and challenges in self worth.

Maybe you grew up believing you were the problem and mom was perfect. Maybe you grew up believing that you needed to do anything possible to keep mom happy. Maybe you had no relationship with your mom, but you knew her in the context of the boyfriends she had. Maybe you remember trying to avoid mom because if you interacted with her you knew that you would feel worse - because she was volatile.

All of these examples are incidents of mother wounding. Some are obvious, some are not so obvious. Regardless, the impact is lasting on the child that grows into the adult daughter.

Mom didn’t start out this way though, maybe mom had trauma that happened to her, or she is the victim of an addiction that has changed who she is, or she has un undiagnosed mental health condition. Regardless of the reason for mom’s behaviors it’s important to remember that the impact is still there. Even though the wound is not visible, it is still present - and it is on the heart.

You might feel like the circumstances of your relationship with mom is helpless, that you can’t change the relationship and she will always have a hold on you, but that is the conditioning of the mother wound. You do have choice, you can set boundaries and you are worthy of being loved. You are enough.

If you would like to explore this mother wounding topic further please reach out to a mental healthcare professional you trust or even myself through the contact page. I would be honored to walk alongside you in identifying your needs in your relationship with your mother and what boundaries are necessary to feel safe.